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camera shy, but still the star ...

Monday, January 10, 2005

6:13PM - eatin my pop corn and drinkin my sun kissssssssst! BAM!

Well i havent really updated in a while. Its been a very busy 2 months with our big move from Torrance to Lakewood, but we're almost all the way settled in, so yea...In that long amount of time i got new furniture, recorded a full length album with Best Interest (still not 100% done), found my soul mate :), and madeline made out with my eyebrows (just right now). I think that i'm gonna start a new live journal as soon as my dad gives me his computer. but yea, i'll let you go now, byebye :).

Current mood: hungry

Thursday, November 18, 2004

11:24PM - But i believe in you so much, i could die from the words that you say ...

I guess that sometimes it takes a bad night like this to realize just how much you love another person. And to learn from your mistakes.

I love you Madeline :).

Current mood: thankful

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

8:38PM - Bu-do-wa-da baDA!

Scooby-doo wopp! BOP, BAM! SHA-BAM'IN Ja kOo - tA RA Ti Ta! BOO-Koo Da Say - di doOooOOOOo! wOP - wAP! ZAP! BOom BAP! SHa Tappi Sap ... yea

Current mood: creative

Saturday, November 13, 2004

1:31PM - When the hours move to minutes and i'm seconds away ...

Thank you Madeline for making my journal look pretty :). I LOVE YOOOOOooOOOU MAAADEILLLLLINEEEEeEEeEEeE!!!! ta-da ... haha, yea, well i'm going to take a shower and get ready for another long day of packing and then i have work at BlockBuster from 5-10. I'll talk to you later, byebye :).

Current mood: content

Saturday, November 6, 2004


I love it when you wake up and feel totally rested. It feels very nice :).

Well i think that i'm going to hang out with Mad today. YAY! I don't know what we're doing yet, but whatever it is, it will be super funtastic :).

Until next time ... BYE BYE!

Current mood: artistic

Thursday, November 4, 2004

6:21PM - i'm having chicken for dinner :)

YEA, you heard it right, CHICKEN! Man, i am SO lucky ... YES! I can't even comprehend the fact! I have got to be the coolest kid on the face of Gods green earth tonight!!! Hot, golden, lip tingling Shake and Bake chicken legs right out of momma's oven straight up, can i get a WHAT-WHAT!?! BAM! i'm out like a light.


Current mood: weird

Monday, November 1, 2004

11:31PM - like an instrument for a song ... like a sun for tomorrow's dawn ...

It looks like we finally found the house that we've been looking for. We're probably going to move in at the end of December or begining of January. I'm excited and sorta sad at the same time. I'll miss my house. I've lived here for around 9 years. But i'm excited for a change i guess :). I feel a bit more free to, now that i'm 18 and all. I need to start applying for jobs out there. Walmart is a very top-notch plan for me, or maybe Blockbuster will transfer me, but i guess i sorta want to get out of there. We'll see, but now i need to sleep. I'm actually going to wake up and go to class tomorrow. I NEED TO! 8 o'clock it is :) haha. Ok then, i'll talk to you later, byebye :).

Current mood: productive

Thursday, October 28, 2004

9:05PM - Every moment of time is just an answer to find what your here for, what you breath for...

Well i finally got the cd that iv'e been wanting for like ... EVER! haha. MUTE MATH! YAY! They are really super dooper good.

Chucky Cheese with Mad Pants=FUN and weird pictures :0 haha.

I think ... that ... i ... am ... in ... ... ... ... LOVE :)

4 good!

Current mood: grateful

Saturday, October 16, 2004

11:17AM - keep your head down, we're not safe yet ...

I'm so tired! aHHHHH! I worked from 5 to 1 last night and then when i got home I talked to Mad until 3 in the morning. Now it's 11:30 and i need to be @ work again in an hour and a half until 9 :(. man! I slept a lot, but my body is still asleep. I don't like waking up like that cause then it feels like i can't do anything at all. I think i'm going to take a shower now and get ready. I just wanted to say hey to everyone, i havent been updating as much as i use to. Before i started working in July, i updated EVERYDAY, and now it's like once every 2 weeks haha. But yea, i'm out of here. byebye.

Current mood: drained

Monday, October 11, 2004

11:22PM - lose my way with words ...

Madeline is AMAZING :)!

Current mood: artistic

Sunday, October 3, 2004


i AM a pirate! Captain Ryan Black!

Current mood: rejuvenated

Monday, September 20, 2004

9:50PM - The hours they creep, the patterns repeat, don't be concerned, you know i'll be fine on my own ...

I miss the way things use to be. When the band was playing shows every other weekend, when a big group of us would go to a park or to the beach at night and play some Dashboard songs and Story of the year songs on the guitar and sing-a-long to it. I miss being with so many friends. It feels like i've lost so many. The ones that i have are amazing and there's no doubt about that, but i'm just saying i miss a lot more people and everything that we use to do together. I really do. I don't know why all of this just came over me, but i just started to think about it for the last hour now. I put some old Dashboard on and looked at some old pictures from the Hermosa wave website, which was something that i use to do everynight way back when ... I'm sad :(. And i'm not just saying that, i really feel it deep inside, i want those times back. When everyone felt like "ONE". And all 20-30 of us would always be together at night time. I'm not going to get all depressed over this, more so, i'd like to start a whole new thing where we all hang out again or at least those of us who already do, but we need to bring back all of the things that we use to do. I mean, going to parks at night with guitars, to the beach at like 2 in the morning, to shows, driving around yelling at people, skating at high schools really late. I MISS IT ALL! I really do, i have that feeling in the back of my throat right now where it's tough to swallow :(. I just want to feel all of that again. Those days were hands down, THE BEST i've ever lived. And i want to that everyone for spending them with me :). I didn't mean for this entry to have a depressed tone, but i guess it sort of turned into that. I guess memories are hard to get over sometimes ... and it takes nights like this to realize those days. I'm off to bed now, byebye :).

Current mood: curious

Saturday, September 11, 2004

4:48PM - Surfing ...

Today was my 3rd day in a row that i paddled out. I'm addicted ... i NEED waves! haha. I'm going tomarrow morning too, if Jeff wants to come along. I paddled out with Matt today and Justin for the past 2 days. The waves today were pretty much BLAH, but there were a few good sets and i can tell you that i caught at least 2 decent waves all day. Along with a nice sunburn on my face ;). haha ... owch. Well, i'm getting ready for work now so i'll talk to everyone later, byebye.

Current mood: mellow

Wednesday, September 8, 2004

10:43PM - Future...

Jeff Sahyoun is one of the most influential people that i've ever met. Honestly. He helped me to come to the conclusion that i need to do something with my life. Not that i didn't know that, i mean, i'm pretty sure that we all want to go somewhere in life, but who actually acts upon it. Who says, "Thats enough, i've been acting lazy, i need to do something or think of something." I'm realizing that i'm at that point where i NEED to start thinking about my future before it's too late. Is it really all that bad to be an 18 year old guy in a band who doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows older. No, but i don't want these same thoughts to have to cross my mind again when i'm 21 and then again when i'm 25 and on and on. I've wanted to fill so many different occupation's shoes in the past, such as: Voice over for a cartoon, Paramedic, sound engineer, professional super hero (wink wink), and on and on. I just don't know what my final answer is going to be. I don't want to end up like all of those middle aged men sitting in a cubical 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I mean, at home i'm sure that they are happy, but do they really feel the rush for life that they should? Are they doing what they love and have always dreamed of? If they are sitting behind a cubical, i'd hope the answer is no. Music is where all of my passion is. It's where i can actually feel like i'm an indivisual and where i can rise above everyone else around me. I feel superior when it comes to writing and listening to music ... like i have a special power that nobody else shares. Music is where my heart is and where it's been since the first day i started playing when i was 9 years old. I'm going to give it everything that i have to make it someday. I swear i'll make it, i belive it so much that i can actually close my eyes and see myself there. Thanx jeff :).

Current mood: curious

Wednesday, September 1, 2004

10:36PM - Sleep tonight with the covers half off, another night to play your favorite dream of ...

Hello everyone :). I'm just updating to let you all know that we are now in the process of booking the finalized dates for the recording of the 12 song full length cd. We are aiming for starting in early October and working through the month to make sure that we are happy with EVERYTHING. At this point in time, an estimated release date most likely wouldn't be met on time, so I won't give one at the moment, but keep in mind that these are 12 BRAND NEW songs that are very different sounding and ear catching. We are going to take as much time as possible while staying in nessisary time means. Our expectations of any release what so ever are hopefully sometime before the end of the year, but like I said, I don't want to just throw dates out there like we have in the past for this same release.

Other than that, we hope that everyone is doing ok and that we see you at some future shows :). At this moment in time we have 2 show dates that are schedualed. They are: Saturday September 4, 2004 @ The Soul Division Festival in San Fransisco, California w/ My American Heart and many, many more. And a later date on Friday October 22, 2004 @ Chain Reaction in Anahime, California w/The Silence and many more. That last one is a Haloween show, so PLEASE come dressed up :). Ok then, thats all the news for now. I'll talk to you later byebye :).

Current mood: relaxed

Friday, August 27, 2004


Work, Work, Work, Knotts, Work, Work, Sleep, Work, T.V., Work, Sleep, Work, Work, Work ...

The American Way ... Goodnight ;)

Current mood: calm

Friday, August 20, 2004

12:29AM - blah ...

Well i just got off of work right now. It's really starting to wear me down. Schools coming up shortly too :( ... i'm not too excited about that either. But hey, it's cool, i'll get through it. I took Madeline to the beach today before work. It was nice and relaxing :). I took her to Malaga Cove the day before yesterday too cause she has never been there. It's the most beautiful place around here in my opinion.

Other than that, we have a show coming up this sunday in Hermosa Beach @ the 705 Club :). I'm excited sorta. I'm just really tired right now so i'm gonna hit the pillows now, byebye :).

Current mood: drained

Tuesday, August 3, 2004




I'll see you all there :) byebye.

Current mood: accomplished

Saturday, July 31, 2004

3:04PM - I'm back...

Well ... the river was pretty fun this year :). I finally got the hang of the whole wakeboard thingy and i got some air off of the wake a few times. I also got better at carving on the wakes with my surfboard. Towards the end of the trip, justin and I made our own spear's to catch fish with. It was really fun. i found a couple of 2 foot branches and tie-wrapped long metal barbque forks to them really tight. Then we sharpened the forks and went out in the water. There were so many fish out there so we used bread and cheese for bate.We didn't catch any fish, but we came REALLY close a good 4 or 5 times. They were just too fast for us. We chased some of them a good 12 to 15 feet underwater, but they left us in the dust by far. It's cool tho, we had fun still. I tried to do a front flip off of a 15 foot dock a few houses down. It looked really scary from up there, it doesnt seem like it's very high, but if you were to land on your face from that height, you could easily break your nose. So i tried it, but i was to close to the edge so i didn't get to jump, i just sorta slipped and followed through with the flip. But i landed on my back :(. it seriously felt like i landed on my back from a 50 foot drop. It really hurt bad. i still have a bruises on my lower back from it. But yea ... hmmmm ... whatelse happened ...

OH yea! I got super drunk 2 times while i was there. Man, i felt like i had to throw up when i went to bed those nights. I remember having 3 cups of captain morgan's parrot bay mixed with lemon lime soda which is my favorite drink, and 2 smirnoff twist things. Thats A LOT for a guy my height and weight. I can honestly say that i was COMPLETELY gone. I mean, i'm only 5'4ish and about 110 lbs. But yea, it was fun, none the less :). I cant wait until next year's river trip. I think i'll be even more daring next time. But now it's back to work and i'll be starting college at the end of august and i'll be taking my driving test on tuesday! Wow, i'll be able to drive by myself if i pass this! Thats crazy man. I seriously can't wait. I'll be going to the beach a lot soon. I'm going to get back into surfing too, cause when i was at the river i felt pretty comforatable riding the wakes and carving and i want to feel that on the waves too. And now that i have my truck and i'll HOPEFULLY have my license, i'll be able to give more time to surfing. Well guys, it's time for band practice, so i shall talk to you all soon :) byebye.

Current mood: content

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

10:37PM - I'm going to the river friday morning :) ...

Hey there everyone :). For all the people that i usually talk to online, i'm sorry that i havent been talking, but it's because my computer has had a virus for a little more than a week now. I'm using my mom's computer right now, but my computer should be better by the time that i get back from the river on the 30th.

In other news...

I have lots of things on mind at the moment. VERY IMPORTANT things too be honest. Concerning the band, a gal, and my future...but then again i guess that every thing that we think about effects our future. So yea...I won't go into things anymore at the time because i don't want everyone to know and change the or modify the story at all. Just know that there is a "temporary" stand still with all of the above.

I miss you all and i shall talk to you as soon as i get back from the river next friday or saturday :). Have fun this week and be safe. byebye.

Current mood: curious

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